Giving Myself Permission to Push the Pause Button


When your time becomes limited, it makes you assess how you spend it. With each new addition to our family, I have taken time during pregnancy to digest what my balance of motherhood and self-employment was going to look like. With my first, I was holding tight to wanting to still do everything. I didn’t want to lose my identity. I profoundly remember my mom saying, “Once you have the baby, trust your intuition, and the decision will feel clear and obvious.” And that is exactly what happened. When Cooper was born, I felt compelled to reduce the number of teams I coached during weeknights and weekends. Although it felt like a difficult decision to admit out loud, once made, I never second guessed it. Why? Because it was the right decision at that point in my life. 

Here is my insight. When you actually listen to your intuition, the promptings tend to feel less scary. At some point, if your decision doesn’t feel right anymore, you know you will listen and adjust your course accordingly. Until I had my second child, I never thought I would eliminate coaching completely from my schedule. But with some help through therapy, I came to the conclusion: “I don’t want to coach anymore.” At a certain point the feeling was undeniable, yet I still felt shocked by my decision. Coaching had been my life for over a decade. It wasn’t something I ever felt pressured to do because It was coming from my core.

So here I am during my third pregnancy, finding myself again consumed by the decision on how best to spend my time. With continued confidence that trusting my gut will only bring happiness, I have come to terms that starting January 2020, I am going to pause My Be Better Box and the Be Better challenges. Similar to coaching, Be Better Movement has been key to my life for close to eight years, so the decision felt huge. I didn’t want to let down all of the participants, all of the subscribers, all of the companies and Every Mother Counts. I didn’t want to “give up” on something I have put so much of my heart and soul into, but over the past couple of months, I have learned that taking time to pause and reassess is never a bad thing. The time I step away from the challenges will only bring clarity as to how best I can make a difference in the world of maternal health and women worldwide.


I realize that sometimes we are so “in it” (whatever that might be), that it’s hard to see outside “of it.” Giving myself permission to push the pause button during this parenting-three-kids-under-the-age-of-four stage of my life has felt liberating. Like a deep breath of fresh air, I am ready for my next chapter of possibility. I love what my husband said: “You don’t have to end Be Better Movement if you want to pause the box and the challenges.” When he said it that way, I knew the truth of that statement. I am excited to continue documenting my motherhood journey and maternal health advocacy on the Be Better platform I have built. I am incredibly excited to start using my Masters in Social Welfare in the field of perinatal mental health. 

To all who have supported me on this journey, I thank you! Whether you were the founding members of Be Better who attended the workouts in Newport Beach and Dana Point; or my family and friends who signed up to do the challenges during the early stages of the movement; or the random strangers who became my friends; or those of you who are equally passionate about maternal health; or the My Be Better Box subscribers who feel excited about self-care and a cause, you all have inspired ME to be better. Thank you to all the Be Better Team Captains, teammates and participants who week after week complete and report the wellness challenges given to you. You were my driving motivation. 


I want to give an extra shout out to my husband and my father who supported my commitment to grow something from nothing. My father was a primary donor to Every Mother Counts when you completed challenges. My husband found the energy, time and money to co-parent in a way that allowed me time to focus on Be Better. His love and support only pushed me. 

And to you I promise, I will finish the year strong, I will be proud of the 1158 people who have joined the Movement, the 3004 challenges completed year-to-date and the thousands of dollars raised for Every Mother Counts.